Redemption
by Constantlyconsciouslyaware13
Summary: we all know Revan was captured by the Jedi and that her mind was wiped. but seriously now, do you think it was smooth sailing taming such a bada55? oneshot about Rev's capture


**Disclaimer:** The only thing that belongs to me is the concept

**A/N: ** this fic takes place shortly after Revan's capture, and after one of the Council's first attempts to change her personality/mind wipe her. It's the first fic I've ever written, so I hope you enjoy it!

LFK

**Key**

:Masters talking:

_Thoughts_

"Spoken word"

**Redemption**

The moment I regained consciousness, free from the numbing darkness that eclipsed my mind, I knew something was very, terribly wrong. Pain lanced through my body, nerves screaming from head to toe, but I couldn't for the life of me remember why!

The last thing I remembered was telling Jared, -an image of a tall, sandy haired man with the purest blue eyes appeared in the darkness of my mind, infused with a feeling of loyalty, love, and a fair bit of desire- my partner onboard the _Star Dancer_, to hold the ship steady as I headed for the portside turret. I was climbing up the ladder when a panel behind me exploded into my back. Everything after that was just a pain-filled blur.

"M-Mal?" my voice was little more than a hoarse croak, and I still couldn't open my eyes. "Where are we?" _wait a sec. I don't know anyone named 'Mal'! No, wait, I think I-_

Another image flashed behind my eyelids, it was Jared, but a slightly skewed version of my lover. He was still a giant of a man, topping my impressive 5ft 10" by another foot and a half, but his straight sandy hair was replaced by a mass of chocolate curls. _What in the world?_ A ghostly visage floated beside him in my minds' eye; a pale skinned man, two tattoos running parallel across his baldhead, and a metal plate covering where his lower jaw once was. The two visions merged in my head until they became one, and fire exploded behind my eyes.

"Revan, how pathetic you have become. If I'd known how easily you would fall, I would have killed you long ago!" Malak's sickly yellow eyes burned into mine as I realized with a start where I was. The bridge of my flagship, the _Twisted Dream_, was a hive of activity as armored Sith troopers and technicians hurried about their duties, casting frightened glances at their arguing overlords.

"What is going on?" I demanded. My voice sounded cold and machine-like through the mask covering my face. Heat surged as the heavy weight of my black robes fell over me.

"Don't you know?" Malak replied mockingly, voice metallic through the re-breather of his false jaw. "YOU'RE dead in all the ways that matter!" he began laughing maniacally and then turned and stalked away, taking the _'Dream_ and its Sith crew with him. Another explosion rocked my brain as images raced past my tightly shut eyes, visions of billions of sentients dying across thousands of worlds.

"No! Nooooo!" I began screaming and thrashing, anything to drown out the laughter in my head.

As more and more memories forced themselves upon my abused mind, reality began to lose hold and my consciousness began spiraling into a mass of confusion. I found myself experiencing each and every horror I'd inflicted through the eyes of the victim.

Blink.

I was a young Telosian mother, screaming as a silver armored trooper tore my child from my arms and made me watch as he put his blaster to her tiny, golden head and pulled the trigger.

Blink.

I was a young man, illuminated by the burning city of Iziz on Onderon, forced to watch as a squadron of Dark Jedi beheaded his whole family with a hiss of red sabers. They bound my hands roughly in handcuffs, staining my hands red with the blood of my kin, before leading me off to the hovering shuttle a few clicks away, chortling to themselves about how they'd found a new disciple.

Blink.

"Morgana! No! Please don't leave me! Don't leave me alone! Medic! I need a medic!" the heart wrenching cry was ripped from my throat as I held my dying wife to my chest, heedless of the warm, slick blood coating my hands and drenching my clothes.

Blink.

I stared up at my twin sister, gazed into the red and black mask where I knew her yellow eyes were glinting with dark amusement and mouthed "why?" as I slid off her saber and fell to the cool durasteel floor of the _Twisted Dream_. We had gone into this war, together, vowing to defeat the Mandalorians and restore peace to the galaxy. Together! Where had we gone wrong? How had I missed the steps, small and large, that led us closer and closer to the Dark Side?

My vision darkened, but I could feel her keeping me from falling unconscious. "No, sister," she said in that voice that was so like my own but exuding a menace that mine never could. "I WILL break this block you have on the Force, and then you will be able to complete your duties once more."

Blink.

A soldier dying alone, stomach a charred ruin from a blaster shot.

Blink.

A medic frantically trying to heal the wounded that kept flooding into the shelter, killing himself with stims while trying to save everyone.

Blink.

A Jedi put to torture for refusing to bow down to Darth Revan.

Blink.

Accepting the Dark Side and rising to serve my new master.

Blink.blink.blink.blink.blink.blink.blink.blink.blink.blink…

I don't know how long I stayed like that, screaming until my voice was no more, alone in the silence of my cell, when a bright light chased away the darkness and shone red through my eyelids. I cracked my eyes open blearily and winced as the light assaulted my sensitive orbs. How long had it been since I'd seen the world with my own eyes instead of from behind the mask?

The door burst open, and a group of people in medics' white pounded into the room, followed closely by a familiar, pink face.

"Zhar…" I tried to speak, but I wasn't sure if what I was seeing was real. Had I even said that aloud? The thought sent me back into the jumble that was my mind, back into my memories. I was screaming again. Would it never end, the screaming and fighting and pain? I just wanted it to END! I heard a snap and then suddenly my wrists and ankles were free.

"Dammit! How did she break free of the restraints?" a panicked male voice from my right shouted. I winced as the sound assaulted my pounding head. Couldn't they do this quietly? "Someone hold her down so I can get the hypo!"

Oh, that was definitely the last straw! Rage coursed through my veins like lightning, making the hairs on my arms stand on end as I reopened my eyes and leapt out of the bed before any of the grasping hands could hold me down.

"And just how do you expect to hold down the Lord Revan?" I asked, unaware of the crazed grin and manic light in my eyes. It was kind of ironic, really, looking back on that day. The great Dark Lord Revan, fighting a bunch of doctors in nothing more than her frilly pink skivvies. Not that I'd wear anything frilly or pink, of course.

"Revan, calm down child. You are reacting to the painkillers, that is all." I shifted slightly, still in a fighting stance and shot a look behind my back. It really was Master Zhar. I remembered him from my days as a Padawan, but he never looked as grim as he did now.

"What the hell is going on, Zhar?" I growled at the pink-skinned Twi'lek. _Oops, I guess it's too late now for 'good impressions'._ I thought wildly. "Who ordered me put down here, drugged into oblivion and strapped to a bed? Why am I here? Where am I? WHERE IS REYSHA?"

Master Zhar opened his mouth to answer and then quickly made a soothing motion with his hands to the men behind me. "No! Do not resort to violence!" but it was too late. I turned around just in time to receive a fist to the face that sent me crashing to the ground, writhing as pain lit up in every cell of my being.

"There is absolutely NO WAY I'm going to be taken down by a bunch of NURSES!" my voice grew steadily louder as I leapt to my feet and burst into action. A roundhouse kick into the one who'd assaulted me first sent him stumbling backwards into the computer terminal beside my bed. His screams told me that I must've broke something, but, at this point, I couldn't care less whether it was he or the computer.

"Crazy Jedi bitch!" Another, much larger man barreled into me and charged forward until my back hit the wall, pinning me with his beefy hands as he yelled for someone to get the hypo.

"Oh," I breathed into his face, loving the way his frightened, animal-like eyes stared into my golden ones. "You are most definitely going to pay for this." As I finished I brought my forehead up into his nose with a crack, sending the broken shards straight into his brain. The Masters would be so _proud_ to see their student hadn't forgotten her lessons in self-defense.

As the dead man's grasp loosened, I slid to the ground and was about to leap at my next target, a scared looking blond standing on the other side of my bed, when I heard the familiar snap-hiss of a lightsaber coming from behind me. The sound threw me out of my rage and the barrier between my awful returning memories, abilities, and me fled as well.

Blink.

_Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD!_ I thought as I watched the over-medicated Jedi, we still hadn't been told who she was yet, break through her restraints like paper and leap off the bed. How was she able to do that? How? I know my duty. I charge towards her, hoping to hold her down, but the next thing I knew I was flying backwards. Electricity lanced into my body as I broke the panel protecting the power core of the terminal. My last thoughts were of my wife as pain and darkness carried me away.

Blink.

"Crazy Jedi bitch!" I howled as I leapt towards the woman. I felt her squirming beneath me, held up against the wall by my grip on her upper arms. Her long raven black hair fell over her face, hiding the glowing golden eyes and a half-mad smirk.

"Oh," she murmured, "you are most definitely going to pay for this!" her forehead crashed into my face, and then fire exploded inside my head. I stumbled back, blood streaming from my eyes and ears, and then there was nothing.

Blink.

I was myself again, sitting on the cold floor as I bashed my head against the wall over and over, trying vainly to clear the vision from my mind. I retreated into myself and imagined I was building a wall between the outside world and myself. I'd do anything to stop feeling what others felt! "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I wailed hoping someone in the galaxy could forgive this scarred child of war.

:Revan: Master Zhar's voice echoed kindly in my head.

_No! Go away!_ I fled deeper into the recesses of my mind.

:Revan, child, you must let us help you. Your mind is broken. Let us fix this.:

_Broken?_ I stopped running and found myself facing the Twi'lek again, standing in the vortex of a storm. _Us?_ There was a flash of lightning, and six other Jedi Masters appeared beside Zhar. I recognized most of them. Tiny Master Vandar, head of the High Council, stood in the center, flanked by the second eldest masters, Vrook and Dorak, two humans. To either side of them were a Zabrak and a Qel-Dor, standing silently with their hands inside their robes. The last master, a white haired woman, remained strangely apart from the others, a very un-Jedi like scowl on her impeccable features and an aura of intense dislike streaming from her body.

:There is much we have to tell you, Revan: Master Vandar began as he sat and then gestured for the others to do so as well::Much we will have to do, and then there will be a choice YOU will have to make.:

_Yes, Master._ I replied, ignoring the rebellious voice that jeered at me for acting like a good little Jedi. Vandar gestured with a three-fingered hand and the storm disappeared, fading until it became a room familiar to the haunted woman. A splash of water filled her mind, calming her, as their surroundings became those of the chamber of a thousand fountains.

:And now we begin.: Vrook said acidly as he and the other masters shifted on the cold floor. :You remember everything, do you not:

_Yes,_ I whispered as guilt and pain wracked my body. The Masters didn't shift noticeably, but I saw the Zabrak's eyes tighten at the corners and the white-haired woman's sneer slip as my emotions washed over them. _I remember what I did as Darth Revan._

:Then that will make this all the easier. Tell me: Dorak, a brown skinned, elderly man paused and took the measure of his companions before continuing. :What was the last thing you remember:

I 'shut' my eyes and forced myself back into the vortex of my memories, flickering through the jumble of horrors until I found something that felt recent. _I-I was on the bridge of the Twisted Dream. It was a battle. Republic cruisers came out of nowhere and began engaging m-my fleet. A strike force infiltrated my ship through a nearly undetectable shuttle, and I felt the presence of many Jedi heading my way._

I fell silent as the image completed itself. I suppose I really needn't talk, seeing as the masters were inside my head, for all intents and purposes. I watched the scene like it was a holovid, detached from what was happening to myself.

"You cannot win, Revan!" An unfairly beautiful brunette Jedi, a child really, stood before my dark robed, masked visage with a drawn yellow saber in hand. Bastila Shan. I could remember feeling elated that such a prize had fallen into my nest, pulling my red saber into battle stance as I readied myself for the fight and eventual capture of the gifted girl. Suddenly, I felt a surge in the Force, but felt no time to question it as the computer consoles behind me exploded into a billion pieces as the turbo-lasers from Malak's ship, the _Leviathan_, tore at the bridge of my own.

_That's all I can remember._ I stumbled slightly and caught myself on the wet stone of one of the fountains. My reflection stared back up at me, as pure and untainted as the day I left for the Mandalorian wars. My skin was a healthy caramel, my eyes were the same jade green as my father's, and my hair was long again, black with those odd purple highlights I could never get rid of.

_But wait,_ I turned back to the seated masters and fixed my gaze on Vandar. _Where is Reysha?_ Reysha Starfire, my friend, my general, my twin sister. Now that I thought about it, I hadn't felt her presence at all, either in my mind or anywhere near the cell they'd kept me. Where could she be, that our bond, both in the Force and that of twins, was rendered silent?

:Reysha Starfire is no longer a part of the Order, young Revan.: Zhar replied sadly.

_What? But she returned! I remember, the Wars were over and I-I was about to take the Fleet with me, but she chose to return to the Council. Something was wrong with her…_ as I spoke the words, I remembered the vision I'd seen what felt like hours ago. Had I really done that, tortured my own sister? I had to struggle not to collapse into a gibbering wreck at the thought.

:Hmph: Vrook said grumpily as he observed my struggle. :Only now do you attempt to control your emotions.:

:At least she is trying, Vrook: Zhar remonstrated firmly::that is better than we originally hoped:

Master Vandar waited for the two to quiet before continuing. :Reysha chose exile when she couldn't come to terms with her actions during the wars. Malachor V had an unforeseen affect on her spirit, and it broke her nearly as much as Malak broke your mind. She didn't tell us where she was going, but we hope she will return to us when she senses your return to the light.:

Return to the light? Well, maybe. I couldn't feel any dark inside either, so maybe there was hope after all.

_Ok, masters._ I said a tad bit impatiently. _You said I would have to make a choice, what is it?_

:We will seal your consciousness away from your subconscious in a way that it will only be accessible to you should someone who knew you from your past reveals your true identity. The way you hid your true self from others during the Mandalorian Wars and later when you returned with the Sith assure that only we could ever break the lock on your mind.: Dorak explained carefully and precisely.

_What do you mean, separating my consciousnesses?_ I asked, confused beyond measure. Hmph, so much for the brilliant tactician!

:In meanest terms: Vrook began. Was that glee I could detect in his voice? Surely not. :We are going to reprogram your mind like you would one of those droids you were so fond of. Your 'memory core' will be locked and encrypted in a way that only true recognition could break it, while your basic systems –your personality and muscle memory- will remain intact. We will give you new memories, memories that will, in concert with your psyche, make you into a new person. Does that sound acceptable to you:

I hesitated. To lose myself, both the good and the bad, would be like committing suicide right here and now. But to be whole, sane, free from the chaos that wrapped my mind, for the first time in years was nearly as tempting. Finally, I came to a decision.

_I will do this._ The masters all but leapt for joy at what I said, but before they could get too excited, I raised a finger. _But only under one condition._

:You are doing more than you know, Revan.: Master Vandar croaked in his raspy voice. :What is it you wish:

_This new person I am to become, I NEVER,_ I paused and met each of the masters' serene gazes with a firm glare, _EVER want the Force to come into my- our hands ever again!_

Vandar glanced at the other masters and then nodded. :It shall be done. Now, Revan: the other masters rose to their feet and formed a tight circle around me, robes whispering on the marble floor. :Rest in peace, and remember, "there is no death; there is the Force.":

_Thank you, masters…_ I smiled, feeling peace flow through me for the first time in longer than I could remember, as the vision dimmed and I felt myself moving farther and farther away into eternity.

Maybe one day, far in the future, they will speak of the Dark Lord Revan's return to the light. Will they ever know, I wonder, the woman who is to be born inside this broken vessel and those that will come to care for her, that my return to the light began at my death?

The Redemption of Revan… Has a nice ring to it, don't you think?

THE END

**A/N:** Sooooo…. Did you like it? At all? Go ahead and tell me, whether it's a flame or compliment, cause any feedback is nice! ;


End file.
